If you want to really understand someone, you have to "walk a mile in their shoes."
This blog has hopefully let you take one step in someone else's shoes. It's a good start, but walking a mile in someone's shoes comes through hours of open conversation, of introspection, of unfeigned compassion, of withholding judgment. Basically it comes down to the words of Cinderella's wise mother: have courage and be kind. I hope that we can all find people to tell our stories to and that we are becoming the kind of people with whom others want to share their stories.
I'm not sure how many more stories I will get. I'll post them if they come.
But know that there are more.
Told or untold.
I thought I would take this Sunday to highlight some of the struggles and triumphs I've heard from my peers during this season of life. Because struggles are more manageable when shared, and joys more sweet.
Our strugglers differ.
Feeling lonely.
Feeling judged for not having served a mission.
Coming home from a mission early.
Having anxiety about making decisions.
Trying to navigate how to deal with life and others when our expectations aren't met.
Being LBGTQ and not knowing how to navigate your religion with your sexual orientation.
Not knowing how to distinguish culture from doctrine and everyone thinking about it differently.
Getting divorced before many of your friends get married.
Becoming not just sick, but ill.
Questioning whether God loves his daughters as much he loves his sons.
Attempting to choose a career path.
Seeing the gray in the world and trying to understand people who only see black and white.
Seeing the black and white in the world and trying to understand people who only see gray.
Battling trauma from sexual assault.
Feeling shame instead of forgiveness for something you've done.
Watching people you love leave the church.
Dealing with anxiety and depression.
Fighting against negative influences of pornography in your life.
Raising children you expected to have.
Raising children you didn't expect to have.
Not raising children you expected to have by this point.
Wondering why men of African descent didn't get the priesthood until 1978.
Wondering why women don't have the priesthood and are criticized for that desire.
Disbelieving polygamy provided overall healthy relationships for men or women.
Worrying things will always be unfair.
Not finding support for your dreams.
Working through a difficult breakup.
Being single longer than you'd expected.
Doctrinal concerns.
Social concerns.
Family concerns.
Organizational concerns.
Financial concerns.
Emotional baggage.
We've got it all.
The blessings in our life also differ.
Traveling.
Graduating from college.
Getting a good-paying job.
Getting a job you love.
Going to graduate school.
Raising a family.
Falling in love.
Getting married.
Working through spiritual trials.
Exploring your relationship with God, within and outside of institutional structures.
Being brave enough to open up to others.
Making friends.
Learning new skills.
Becoming healthier.
Cleaning up a mess.
Building relationships.
Forgiving those who have hurt you.
Loving those around you as well as yourself.
Finding a new home and making it yours.
KNOWING THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I promise you that you are not alone in your questions, your struggles, your pain, your joy, or your triumphs. This thought has been the most comforting me in times of trouble, especially over the past month.
It doesn't heal my wounds or answer my questions.
But it makes things lighter.
This blog has hopefully let you take one step in someone else's shoes. It's a good start, but walking a mile in someone's shoes comes through hours of open conversation, of introspection, of unfeigned compassion, of withholding judgment. Basically it comes down to the words of Cinderella's wise mother: have courage and be kind. I hope that we can all find people to tell our stories to and that we are becoming the kind of people with whom others want to share their stories.
But know that there are more.
Told or untold.
I thought I would take this Sunday to highlight some of the struggles and triumphs I've heard from my peers during this season of life. Because struggles are more manageable when shared, and joys more sweet.
Our strugglers differ.
Feeling lonely.
Feeling judged for not having served a mission.
Coming home from a mission early.
Having anxiety about making decisions.
Trying to navigate how to deal with life and others when our expectations aren't met.
Being LBGTQ and not knowing how to navigate your religion with your sexual orientation.
Not knowing how to distinguish culture from doctrine and everyone thinking about it differently.
Getting divorced before many of your friends get married.
Becoming not just sick, but ill.
Questioning whether God loves his daughters as much he loves his sons.
Attempting to choose a career path.
Seeing the gray in the world and trying to understand people who only see black and white.
Seeing the black and white in the world and trying to understand people who only see gray.
Battling trauma from sexual assault.
Feeling shame instead of forgiveness for something you've done.
Watching people you love leave the church.
Dealing with anxiety and depression.
Fighting against negative influences of pornography in your life.
Raising children you expected to have.
Raising children you didn't expect to have.
Not raising children you expected to have by this point.
Wondering why men of African descent didn't get the priesthood until 1978.
Wondering why women don't have the priesthood and are criticized for that desire.
Disbelieving polygamy provided overall healthy relationships for men or women.
Worrying things will always be unfair.
Not finding support for your dreams.
Working through a difficult breakup.
Being single longer than you'd expected.
Doctrinal concerns.
Social concerns.
Family concerns.
Organizational concerns.
Financial concerns.
Emotional baggage.
We've got it all.
The blessings in our life also differ.
Traveling.
Graduating from college.
Getting a good-paying job.
Getting a job you love.
Going to graduate school.
Raising a family.
Falling in love.
Getting married.
Working through spiritual trials.
Exploring your relationship with God, within and outside of institutional structures.
Being brave enough to open up to others.
Making friends.
Learning new skills.
Becoming healthier.
Cleaning up a mess.
Building relationships.
Forgiving those who have hurt you.
Loving those around you as well as yourself.
Finding a new home and making it yours.
KNOWING THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I promise you that you are not alone in your questions, your struggles, your pain, your joy, or your triumphs. This thought has been the most comforting me in times of trouble, especially over the past month.
It doesn't heal my wounds or answer my questions.
But it makes things lighter.
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